2-Minute Stories About the Program

"A place where people can come, and be, and their spirit revives."
The Mental Health Day Treatment Program is a place where adults living with a mental illness can enter into a place of safety.

Watch one story here.

Watch a second one here.

Monday Morning

Tired and feeling icky this morning. I don’t want to be with the group today, especially not for Feelings Group. I either cry through the whole session – not knowing what emotion(s) is behind the tears – or I freeze and disconnect. Both reactions require a great deal of energy. Energy I just don’t have today.

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Has there been any progress? This is the half-way mark at three weeks. Do I over analyze it all? Why can’t I just be?  Be in the moment. Be okay with whatever that moment holds.

Later on Monday

Last week in Goal Setting Group I tried to come up with some goals to help me reduce self-harm. While reviewing those goals in group today I became very, very tense and tearful. I had stabbing pains in my gut. My arms and hands tingled. I wanted to bolt. When I realized that my self-destructive behaviours are driven by my belief that I am worthless and undeserving of anything good or healthy I couldn’t hold the tears back.

I decided not to have a goal this week about reducing self-harm. I’m going to talk to my case coordinator about it in the morning. I also have to go over the rules I live by with her. The rules I live by all seem to be about my complete unworthiness – about how deserving I am of all this pain.

Dr B has asked me, so very many, many times, “What did you do to deserve all this pain and suffering? Haven’t you suffered long enough?”

I don’t really know what it is that I’ve done. Being born? That’s all I can come up with; with so many things since to perpetuate and confirm the fact that I don’t deserve to live.

Wednesday

Today I’m back to thinking the MHDTP is a big waste of time. I can’t even remember what we did yesterday. To make it stick I should come home and review the information from that day but by the time I get home I’m tired and really, the last thing I want to think about is the MHDTP.

I need to be able to piece it together, to look at the theory behind the exercises. What method are they using? I really need to understand the concepts and the process.

Sunday

Still feeling like a loser. I don’t want to go to the MHDTP tomorrow - Feelings Group and Goal Setting Group. Bleck. I want to be full of hope but I feel hopeless tonight…hopeless and useless. I want to disappear…evaporate.

About Debi Noye

Debi is a writer, a mental health consumer, and a suicide attempt survivor. As part of her recovery, she has found freedom in embracing her creative side (painting and creating mail art as well as writing), which allows her to be open and honest about living with a mental illness. Debi is passionate about playing an active role in the mental health community, not only as a consumer but also as a friend, resource, and advocate for other consumers. She lives in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.

Visit Mental Health Day Treatment online for more information.