2-Minute Stories About the Program

"A place where people can come, and be, and their spirit revives."
The Mental Health Day Treatment Program is a place where adults living with a mental illness can enter into a place of safety.

Watch one story here.

Watch a second one here.

Monday Night

The weekend was tough. I ate and ate and ate and made myself sick. I feel like ugly dirt.

Feelings Group first thing. I cried.

I knew then, just like I know now, that I must connect with my emotions.

I thought I had connected with what others were saying and feeling as they shared their work but really what I was feeling was anxiety and fear – knowing that I will have to do similar work.

The idea of writing a letter to myself or to my mother and trying to connect with my feelings terrifies me!! I know when Dr B tried to help me to experience those emotions I froze and then grew frustrated when he kept prodding me; frustrated because I wanted to experience the emotions. I knew then, just like I know now, that I must connect with my emotions. Nothing will change unless I do.

But it’s not enough to just want to. Wanting doesn’t make it happen. I don’t know how to connect. I don’t know how to discern the emotion and then feel it. It would be a huge break through for me to experience my emotions without intellectualizing them. I know what I should feel; I know what would be appropriate but I’m cheating myself if I take that route.

I’m working on my overall program goals. Each week I will set Weekly Goals that will help me meet my program goals. I think that’s how it works.

Here’s what I have so far for my overall program goals:

  • I want to want to live - to eliminate suicide as an option
  • I want to reduce or eliminate self-harm (control my impulsivity; stop turning anger inwards; stop punishing myself)
  • I want to be able to connect with my feelings
  • I want to reconcile the evil/bad and the good so that both can exist within me
  • I want to break down the walls to allow for intimate relationships
  • I want to regain physical health and to be well enough to return to work.

Friday

Week 1 of the MHDTP is done. I’m so very relieved that it is Friday - lots of ups and downs, back and forth, inside outs and round and rounds this week. Hope. Doubt. Frustration. Hopelessness. Ambivalence.

Sunday

Not looking forward to the MHDTP tomorrow. First on the agenda is Feelings Group. I don’t have any work to present so all I have to do is allow myself to experience the emotions that are stirred up by work presented by other participants. That is definitely easier said than done.

Not feeling very hopeful about the whole process but I’m willing and determined to keep an open mind and to take away as much as I can.

About Debi Noye

Debi is a writer, a mental health consumer, and a suicide attempt survivor. As part of her recovery, she has found freedom in embracing her creative side (painting and creating mail art as well as writing), which allows her to be open and honest about living with a mental illness. Debi is passionate about playing an active role in the mental health community, not only as a consumer but also as a friend, resource, and advocate for other consumers. She lives in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.

Visit Mental Health Day Treatment online for more information.